Letting go of a friend....

Sometimes in our life there will come a time when we have to let go of certain people no matter how important they are to you. It is even harder when it is a friend who is so dear to you. It's been just over 5 months now since I've become good friends with this person. The thing is I'm extremely a private person. I'm not one to trust easily and open up to a person on certain issues. It takes time to win my trust and for me to open up to someone.

I met this friend online in one of the sites I've joined. I've grown deeply fond and close to this person along the way. We've both felt that instant connection the moment we started our conversations. I know you're thinking nothing beats face to face conversations but I don't see how it is any different to having conversations in real life? I mean I can just talk to this person about anything and everything that i can randomly think of which we probably already did, having random and sometimes no nonsense conversations. I think I've opened up more to this person than anyone else. It wouldn't have been possible if the internet never existed and I wouldn't have met this wonderful person who brought smiles into my days every time I see her online. I guess we've both helped each other in different ways, we shared the joys, sadness, fears and sometimes give each other advice. I think that's what happens in true friendship...there's openness and no shyness. Friendship is about giving and taking, not just taking and not just giving. Like any other relationships friendship takes time to grow, you have to work hard at it if it's meant to last.

Well it's not all roses for us, we do have our moments and we did have a lot of that. Recently we had a falling out, one day during one of our conversations we had an argument and she decided right there and then to end our friendship. I didn't want it to end and I so wanted to tell her that we could work it out but I didn't argue anymore for I felt from her words that she has made up her mind.

I know some of you might think I'm crazy coz I have so much admiration for this person who I mainly talk to online. I've only heard her lovely voice but have never seen even a picture of her and yet by her mere presence online I feel happy and content. This is a once in a lifetime connection that doesn't happen with just anyone and if you find it, you're very lucky. I wasn't as lucky for I not only lost a beautiful friendship, I've lost the person and believe me it hurts every single bit inside of me coz this person meant everything to me. The candidness, openness is one thing that you can get from an online relationship and you rarely find this in real life relationship because of people's insecurities and hang ups. I don't know if I'm making sense or not. I guess when you invest a huge part of you into something or someone it almost seems as if a part of them belongs to you even though realistically we do know that we belong to ourselves. All we can do is care for someone and then eventually have to let go. Sometimes I begin to ponder why bother in the first place. What we don't realize is that we've made a difference in someone's life and that is something money can't buy.

To my dearest friend Meg, although we've now started to be apart from each other it doesn't mean I've forgotten you or stopped caring about you, I still do and you will always be in my thoughts for you are the only girl who has captured my heart and someone I will never ever forget.